Ascend

I have confessed that I am no angel. I have expressed that the weight of waiting ties down my wings. I should make it clear now that I am not without happiness, as much as my writing leans towards darker things. I am without answers.Which for the one who hates not knowing, it's like an... Continue Reading →

Malcontent

Force yourself - do not think. You are the pen, your blood, the ink. Fantasise - another life not lived. Are you happy with 'carry on and improvise'? Breathe. One, two, three. Leave your problems at the city lights. Relax and drink it in - the air, the electricity, the world you've found yourself in.... Continue Reading →

Journal #3 I’ve been busy . . .

Hello all! I've been a bit busy these past few weeks. I asked for an update on my diagnostic laparoscopy waiting time and sadly it appears the timeframe I was given originally was incorrect. I have since been told that I cannot chase for another update until the end of November. It's not great but... Continue Reading →

Perspective

People ask me, is your glass half full or half empty? I pour myself a whiskey. No mixer. No ice. Double measure. My glass is half empty because I only filled it half way. (I could probably drink a whole glass of whiskey, but just not today). I pour myself a vodka. Top it up... Continue Reading →

Concealment Syndrome

You cut like a knife -you know, if you frame your words just right. I itch to tell you why -you know, just so you'll re-think before you amplifyyour say on my life. You hit like a brick -you know, when you say the words 'you don't look sick'.Look me up, look me down -... Continue Reading →

From the depths of defiance

I could pour my heart out on this page,or I could refrain. I could speak truths out loud,or I could make no sound. I could cry, let it all out,or I could purse my lips to kiss my inner self-doubt. I could. I should. What good is there in pondering on what-ifs and paths not... Continue Reading →

ThrowBack Thursday: Changes

I held an image of you in my memory;full of life and full of faults;imperfectly human; extraordinarily you;and you were smiling. The edges of that image yellowed over time.There were lines across your smilefrom folding you away in my thoughts.And now? I find your face has faded. The laughter in your eyes was a lie,the jokes... Continue Reading →

Chronic Catalogue

Amitriptyline. Tens machine. Hot water bottle. I can never allow myself to go full throttle. Progestogen. Not today becomes my slogan. Turmeric latte. Do I or don't I have a sick day? Abdominal pain. Weight gain. No appetite. I know I went to bed but it doesn't feel like I slept last night. Hot flashes.... Continue Reading →

ThrowBack Thursday: Nostalgic

Life is a beast with two headsjust like Janus;godlike and all-knowing.It gives and takes so easilysmiles from glowing cheeks,laughs from glad hearts,kisses from – – – we are worlds apart I must except this scarred skinfor what it is;a tapestry; historyreminding me that I am onborrowed time from – – – i am not a pawn... Continue Reading →

ThrowBack Thursday: Evocation

Little things evoke memories of bigger things –tragedies and bad days. I see one red-breasted robin and I’m too far gone –drowning in memories of yesteryears,failing to see the way out. I feel the weight of words from your still mouthhit my chest like a cannonball.The last things I’ll hear you say. I see one red-breasted... Continue Reading →

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