Why I Write

Hello, my name is Jade and welcome to Tea & Transparency.

I used to write stories.

I used to relish in literature; crafting worlds and bringing kingdoms to their knees. I used to write about monsters; magic; queens. But the love of the stories I was creating flatlined. I felt abandoned by myself. Why had my mind thrown them aside? They were a lifeline. I needed them to stay sane. They were my light on a dark day. A place to run to and escape.
Every time I tried to type them out, my fingers would freeze. I could no longer see the glittering crowns; the godly storms; the cities under siege. I only saw me. And the dark.

The oblivion that had been sneaking in, took hold of everything all at once. The pain I pushed down pushed its way up and screamed at the top of its lungs. I felt isolated and misunderstood by the raging fires boiling my blood.

I picked up a pen and scolded myself for ever thinking I would amount to anything. I berated my own brain and wrote about the shadows inside and outside of me. Sometimes, I wrote about the light; love; the joys of life. I started to explore myself by writing about anything. Everything.

Writing is my space to be entirely human.

I am teaching myself that it is okay to have limitations; weaknesses; pain. I am teaching myself not to be afraid. The dark always comes after light but the light returns every damned time.

Writing isn’t about making money . . . In the end, it’s about enriching the lives of those who will read your work, and enriching your own life, as well. It’s about getting up, getting well, and getting over. Getting happy, okay? Getting happy.

Stephen King

I cannot tell you goals or aims, I only know that I am taking this all step by step.

At this moment in my life I write because I need to. I have to let my imagination run wild because I enjoy it; because it infuriates me; because there are worlds in my head that need to escape; because I cannot possibly imagine doing anything else; because to be human is to love stories; because my attempts at poetry catch and encapsulate my emotions in ways I cannot vocalise.